Often in life, a period of growth comes to a sudden stop and leaves you feeling stuck. Sometimes the progress you’ve made doesn’t seem as exciting anymore, or maybe you feel like it’s having the same impact it once did. Many of my clients have this experience and feel frustrated or unsure in these moments, but progress stalling is a natural part of growth. While it is understandable to struggle in these moments, take them as a sign that it is time to shift your attention to other areas of your life. You have improved one aspect of your life, so now you have the time and energy to work on something else.
The question is, how do you know it is time to shift your focus and how do you know what to focus on? The first step is to trust yourself. According to solution-focused therapy, everyone has the tools to build the life they want, and one of those tools is intuition. Whether it is your thoughts, your emotions, your body, or your behaviors, something within you will signal you’re ready to take a new step. This can look like excitement to work on something new or feeling like the things you’ve been working on aren’t enough. Either way, this is a good sign. You’re ready for more progress. As for what to work on next, trust your intuition there too. If there’s something you wish you had time to do or something you’ve always dreaded that doesn’t seem as scary as it used to, maybe now is the time to take that step.
If you feel stuck, here are 5 questions you can ask yourself to decide whether you’re ready for new progress and which direction to go:
Do I feel tired/unbalanced or bored/dissatisfied?- If you’re tired or unbalanced, maybe you need to take a break before pushing yourself to keep growing. It’s okay to let yourself rest after a period of growth. Settle into your new life. If you’re bored or dissatisfied, then you’re probably ready for new progress.
How do the things I do every day support the life I want to have?- If your habits don’t create the life you want, then start by building the easiest habit you can build that leads toward your ideal life.
What do I value most in life?- List the 3-5 things you care about the most in life (ex: relationships, work, money, fun, contemplation). Then check and see if you’re satisfied in all of those areas of your life. If not, maybe there’s something you can do to work on it.
Does my current situation remind me of anything in the past?- If your life right now reminds you of something from your past, maybe there’s a bigger pattern going on, and it would help you to consider that pattern when trying to make progress now.
When I imagine making progress, how do I feel?- One of the biggest things that keeps people stuck are emotions that haven’t been dealt with (ex: fear, shame, anger, grief). Progress tends to turn up the volume on those negative emotions and make you want to give up. If imagining working on your life brings up overwhelming negative emotions, focus on dealing with those. You can make life changes once the emotions aren’t in the way.
Sometimes you need to make concrete changes, and sometimes you need to deal with your thoughts and feelings. The fact people need both is why my work includes techniques to help clients understand themselves (mindfulness and somatic experiencing) and life skills to help clients develop effective, flexible habits and systems (behavioral skills). If you would like help figuring out and taking your next step, email me at contact@pruittpsychotherapy.com to schedule an appointment. Happy walking!